Home is

We just got back from a fabulous 10-day trip to Arizona! It felt so good to be there again, and, in a strange way, as though we had never left. My sister and I instantly tuned into the legendary hive mind. Conversations with friends seemed to pick up where they left off. Hip hop music, drinks, and ESPN still set the stage for a good mood. In one word, the trip was perfect.

That’s not always easy to accomplish when you have a list of people to see and things to do but a limited amount of time, yet somehow we managed to find the right balance. What do I remember best from the trip? The love of family and friends that were so happy to see us again. How good it felt to be around my sister and to see her flourishing on her own. Saguaros, rocks, and the smell of creosote. The warmth of the desert sun on my face. The feel of driving my old 4Runner. SomeBurros burritos and the smile on Toby’s face as he ate one. Even the rain (yes, ironically it did rain), which has a totally different quality than in Düsseldorf.

And then a funny thing happened (no, not on the way to the forum). I started calling Düsseldorf home. I don’t really understand why, but something about being in Arizona helped me get there. Maybe it had to do with the realization that leaving a place doesn’t have to mean you’re gone. Or that it’s the people that make a place home. Or that I was living out of a suitcase.

In any case, Toby and I are back in our apartment. Although we already woke up to snow once (it was washed away by the rain), it’s nice to be in Düsseldorf again. It’s slowly becoming home.

I guess home really is where you hang your hat (and soon, hopefully, a few new lamps and pictures).

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4 thoughts on “Home is

  1. Glad we were able to connect for a little while and that you enjoyed your visit. It’s funny how taking a vacation always puts things in perspective. Merry Christmas!!

  2. Your suitcase theory is one I share. :)

    I know what you mean about that odd feeling when you go back “home” and it’s like you were never gone. As the years pass quickly by, you’ll still have some of that, but more and more–as you build your life and relationships and become fonder of the new granola–Germany will settle into your soul as home, and you won’t feel quite so instantly reconnected to Arizona.

    I doubt that hive mind you and Angelika share will ever change, though, regardless of where the two of you are! It’s an amazing phenomenon, and a lot of fun to watch.

    In that first instant I saw you, I had the feeling you had never left us, too. The excited, happy gleam in your eyes, your mischievous laugh, the rapid-fire, funny, stream of conversation… I remembered how much I’ve missed having you with us in person. It was really wonderful to spend some time with you again. Thank you for fitting some time into your crazy, whirlwind schedule to hang out in Press again.

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